Amsterdam, NL


2017 British Values 2: Hard Brexit
2015 I might like you Illegal Emotions
2013 Jonny on a Chorizo
2012 Good at Goodbyes
2011 Alone, Desperate and Going Nowhere
2009 Silk Handkerchiefs Andy de Fiets: Letter to Robin Kinross And yet, and yet...
2008 Little Titans

British Values 2: Hard Brexit
Paul Haworth & Sam de Groot

Can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs

I might like you

I might like you
Like I like your face
The way it plays on my feelings
Come on, come in

Screenprinted on organic sweatshop-free cotton.

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Illegal Emotions
Paul Haworth & Sam de Groot


Silk Handkerchiefs trilogy
Paul Haworth

Silk Handkerchiefs (2009), Alone, Desperate and Going Nowhere (2011) and Jonny on a Chorizo (2013). Our narrator is Alex ‘Abs’ Brenchley: seven feet of cherry-sweet loving. With each book taking place over one year, events from 2007 to 2009 energise the narrative as we follow Abs on a life-affirming adventure throughout London. There is Monarchy, dogging, Kahlúa, gangs, galleries, grime and LOVE. Tall, sinewy, statuesque and virile, she is sensualabsational. Her name is Trevoreesia.

Published 2009–2013
Three volumes, 376 pages total
180 × 110 mm, printed offset, sewn and glued

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Jonny on a Chorizo
Paul Haworth

THE YEAR IS 2009. Gangs of children, some as young as ten, are slowly roasting puppies over bonfires. To be alive is unrelenting and grim. Pyramid schemesters, balloon boys, gender-row runners. Pop-up brothels in industrial units. Fish nibbling at feet. Facemasks on the street. Pandemic after pandemic. New and more deadly strains keep coming and a sneeze on the tube is now a potential death sentence.

ENOUGH. Because Alex ‘Abs’ Brenchley is back – and this is his last goodbye.

Picking up straight after Alone, Desperate and Going Nowhere, he returns exhausted, rebarbative, defeated. And impotent. A pact is made: if life remains so desperately miserable, Abs will get off this melancholy-go-round once and for all. But his luck and his London are about to change, following a chance meeting with Ga—

No to spoilers: Jonny on a Chorizo is a book of surprise and adventure. Carrying the reader on a joyous ride through London – its pearly queens, crushed dreams, bashment, blue jeans, scenes of romance in Crowlands – towards a heartfelt climax. Une fin véritable to a trilogy which began with the publication of Silk Handkerchiefs in 2009.

So let’s bump uglies, dance about the Maypole and have one last night at the St Moritz, because this is it: Jonny on a Chorizo is the end for Abs.

Vivat Regina!

Published February 2013
180 × 110 mm, 152 pages, printed offset, sewn and glued
ISBN 978-94-90006-00-6
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Good at Goodbyes
Paul Haworth & Sam de Groot


Published November 2012

Alone, Desperate and Going Nowhere
Paul Haworth

Alex ‘Abs’ Brenchley is back. The seven-foot tragedy opens the sequel to Silk Handkerchiefs with the words “2008 was the worst year of my life.” This is the story of that year.

Neon and doors – I’m dead, hell, we’re being pumped in by the dozen – I don’t belong here! – yes you do, sex fiend – to a tight passage – bundles of us trying to get out – bottle-necked against a tunnel of lights – the triple-X, neon and doors, passages to perdition – I shuffle with the masses – nearly there – I notice...a woman – or she notices me – our eyes meet, skinny, late thirties, she is squatting in a doorway, eating a burger, she speaks: “Do you have trouble with the ladies, sir?”

Alone, Desperate and Going Nowhere sweeps our hyper-emotional hero across England, into the depths of despair and deranged behaviour, towards a mythical destination – The Lady Field – a fabled area of Hampstead Heath where it isn’t just men who are cruising. Carnforth yobs, Sex and the City: The Movie, dogging fanatics, Christian Slater, Community Support Officers and the Page Street Gang – these are just some of the forces Alex is up against as he seeks to find the manhood, absolution and purpose in life that will empower him to win the love of Trevoreesia, his Absqueen.

All the while, the economy is collapsing – “My life had been in crisis for so long and now the world was catching up,” observes Alex – and the soundtrack to this far-gone era is Take That’s cruel taunt: THIS COULD BE THE GREATEST DAY OF OUR LIVES. Does that day come for Alex Brenchley or will he remain, always and forever, Alone, Desperate and Going Nowhere?

Mixing Cockney, teen lingo, Victorian slang and inventive wordplay, Haworth’s colourful style makes for an exhilarating and addictive read. This is the second part in a trilogy of comedic novels about Alex Brenchley.

Published February 2011
180 × 110 mm, 128 pages, printed offset, sewn and glued
ISBN 978-94-90006-03-7
Made possible in part by Fonds BKVB
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Silk Handkerchiefs
Paul Haworth

Silk Handkerchiefs is the first in a trilogy of short comedy novels by writer and painter Paul Haworth.

Wank to Jeremy Kyle, postie wink, suicidal, hit on woman old enough to be my mother, like a lubricious satyr, nigh-on assaulted by a male admirer, lying in a pool of urine...shit like this, it never used to happen to me, I swear. Now it were the story of my life.

Narrator Alex ‘Abs’ Brenchley is unafraid to tell, show and give all. Alongside episodes about his youth at Westminster School, sexcapades in St James’s Park and Victoria Station, and life as one of the art world’s so-called Nutty Solitary Men, Silk Handkerchiefs weaves its story of one fateful day in the life of Alex Brenchley...a day of tragedy, violence and the promise of LOVE.

The character and story of Silk Handkerchiefs have been developed through radio shows, YouTube videos and short stories written by Haworth since 2003. A performance of Silk Handkerchiefs took place at the Barbican Art Gallery in London in July 2008, as part of The House of Viktor & Rolf. Alex Brenchley’s misadventures will be continued in two sequels.

The narration richly fuses Cockney, hip-hop slang and verbose Dickensian English. The book offers a delirious account of 21st-century anxiety at its most extreme and hysterical and captures the London of 2007 as if it was only yesterday.

Silk Handkerchiefs – hilarious, ridiculous, true!

Published September 2009
180 × 110 mm, 96 pages, printed offset, sewn and glued
ISBN 978-94-90006-02-0
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Andy de Fiets: Letter to Robin Kinross
Paul Haworth & Sam de Groot

22-year-old Andy de Fiets, on the verge of graduating from his graphic design studies, writes to his hero: Hyphen Press publisher Robin Kinross. Andy offers unsolicited advice, seeks much-needed guidance, and shares his thoughts on matters such as typography, The Smiths, Islamic fundamentalism, proper clothing, the homeless, dust covers.

Andy spots every comma but misses every point. A delightful typographic comedy!

First printing January 2009
Second printing June 2010 (with seventeen minor amendments and a photo insert)
210 × 125 mm, 24 pages, printed offset, stapled
ISBN 978-94-90006-01-3
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X.X. Xxxxxxxx


And yet, and yet...

Four very short bittersweet reflections: ‘First Emotion’, ‘Pleasure Train’, ‘12 March 1943’ and ‘This year...’ Written between 1914 and 1943.

Translated by Sam de Groot with Ian Adams

Published January 2009
143 × 93 mm, 16 pages, mimeographed, stapled

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Little Titans

Nescio (Latin for ‘I don’t know’, pseudonym of J.H.F. Grönloh, 1882–1961) is one of the best Dutch writers of the 20th century, but previously unavailable in English. This edition offers a translation of Nescio’s classic 1915 novella Titaantjes.

Little Titans is set in Amsterdam around 1900 and deals with a group of ‘boys – but nice boys’ who are discontent with just about everything. Their bosses control their time, girls are always out of reach, the sun refuses to be painted, and the God they’re hoping for never comes. Full of youthful bravado, they plot to change the world once and for all – only to fail before even starting. The book is a hard but compassionate look at the inevitable loss of the idealism and hope of youth, with a subtle sense of humor and a fresh eye for minute detail.

Translated by Sam de Groot with Ian Adams

Published June 2008
143 × 93 mm, 68 pages, mimeographed, sewn and glued

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Also translated into English in 1976 by Felix J. Douma, and in 2012 by Damion Searls.